Do I pee standing or sitting?

So today I went to the Utah Department of Public Health award banquet and they gave out awards for 5, 10, 15, 20 and 25 years of service. They also announced all the new employees that were hired in the past year. The director gets to my name and says, "Knee-uh Win has been here for almost an entire and she has impressed everyone with her hard work." Hmm, do you see a problem here? I stand up and yell out, "But I'm a dude!!" Everyone starts laughing of course. Ha ha, evidently there's a tranny that is working for the state and it's me! I think with the emotional trauma that I suffered I should be able to take some long term sick and seek therapy. Maybe I should change my name to something as rugged as the Marlboro Man. Do you think I would make a good, "Chuck"? That's a good gender specific name. Maybe that's why I have trouble with the ladies? Could it be that when I'm hitting on them they actually think I'm asking them to go shopping and make table settings? Damn me for embracing too much of my inner woman. My friend Jessi teased me when I first moved to San Diego cause she said I became a "dude". I guess this meant I was going to the bars with my guy friends and trying to find gals to play with my tingly parts. Luckily for all of my female friends, I eased back into my role of being not only "one of the girls", but also "one of the boys". Evidently I'm a social hermaphrodite.